Yep, in my Mailbox, for sure!

Dear All

My thanks to all those who have sent me emails this past
year........

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about cockroach
eggs in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with
every envelope that needs sealing.

Also, I now have to scrub the top of every can I open for the
same reason.

I no longer have a lot of savings because I gave it to a sick
girl (Penny Brown); who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th
time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I
receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for
participating in their special e-mail program ......

Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants me to split $7
million with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer
who died intestate.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels
looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell
like a water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered
if I forward e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five
minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it
can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy gas without taking a man along to watch
the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me
with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial
a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda ,
Singapore and Uzbekistan .

Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big
brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant
death when it bites my ass.

And thanks to your great advice, I can't even pick up the $5.00 I
found dropped in the car park because it probably was placed there by a
sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the
next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhoea will land on your head at
5:00pm this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back,
causing you to grow a hairy hump.

I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend
of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's
beautician.

By the way....a South American scientist after a lengthy study has
discovered that people with low IQ who have infrequent sexual
activity always read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse.

Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

What kind of flower are you?

I am a Canna What Flower Are You?

My Dogs Live Here

MY DOGS LIVE HERE

My dogs live here, they're here to stay.
If you don't like pets, be on your way.
They share my home, my food, my space
This is their home, this is their place.

You will find dog hair on the floor,
they will alert you're at the door.
They may request a little pat,
a simple "no" will settle that.

It gripes me when I hear you say
"just how is it you live this way?
they smell, they shed, they're in the way.."
WHO ASKED YOU? is all I can say...

They love me more than anyone,
my voice is like the rising sun,
they merely have to hear me say
"C'mon girls, time to go and play"!

Then tails wag and faces grin,
they bounce and hop and make a din.
They never say "no time for you",
they're always there, to GO and DO.

And if I'm sad? They're by my side
and if I'm mad? they circle wide
and if I laugh, they laugh with me
they understand, they always see.

So once again, I say to you
come visit me, but know this too..

My dogs live here, they're here to stay.
you don't like pets, be on your way.
they share my home, my food, my space
this is their home, this is their place..
------------ Author Unknown

The Hunter

The HUNTER & The Cook

A man kills a 'deer' and takes it home to cook for dinner.

Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is,

but will give them a clue and let them guess.

Mmmmmmmmmmm Good !!

The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates,

so begged their dad for the clue.

Well' the father said, 'It's what mummy calls me sometimes.'

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

'The little girl screams, 'Don't eat it....

it's 'an asshole

Prevent Breast Cancer with Care2.com and the Breast Cancer Fund!

Prevent Breast Cancer with Care2.com and the Breast Cancer Fund!

Adopt A Wild Critter from NWF

Make a different...adopt an imperiled animal today!

Dear Meggie,

Finding the perfect holiday gift just got easier!

Thanks to suggestions from folks like you, we've added many exciting items to National Wildlife Federation's NEW Adoption Center. Now, there are even more ways to find a memorable gift for everyone on your holiday list.
And, with each symbolic animal adoption, you'll know that you are doing your part to protect wildlife and wild places across America for our children and grandchildren.


Adopt a polar bear! Adopt a tortoise!Adopt a grizzly bear!

Adopt a canada lynx! Adopt a moose! Adopt a wolf!

Adopt Now!

Sincerely,



David Strauss
Vice President, Membership


P.S. Be sure to spread the word about NWF's NEW Adoption Center to your friends and family.

National Wildlife Federation Logo


Your Adoption is symbolic and your donation will be used where it is needed most to help protect America’s imperiled wildlife.

Your Donation must be made by December 17, 2007, for your Adoption Kit to arrive in time for the holidays.

**While supplies last. *Personalized Certificate is available online.
© 2007 National Wildlife Federation. All rights reserved. NWF Privacy Policy

Contact us: info@nwf.org | 1-800-822-9919 | National Wildlife Federation, 11100 Wildlife Center Drive, Reston VA, 20190.

Bring your yard to life! Create a wildlife-friendly yard officially certified through NWF's Wildlife HabitatTM program and help us reach our goal of 100,000 yards by year-end.


Unsubscribe from receiving email, or change your email preferences.

Well, here I am!!!

Big Five Test Results

Extroversion (14%) very low which suggests you are extremely reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and private. Accommodation (72%) high which suggests you are overly kind natured, trusting, and helpful at the expense too often of your own individual development (martyr complex). Orderliness (34%) moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly flexible, random, scattered, and fun seeking at the expense of structure, reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment. Emotional Stability (38%) moderately low which suggests you are worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious. Inquisitiveness (56%) moderately high which suggests you are intellectual, curious, imaginative but possibly not very practical.

Take Free Big Five Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com


Well, I guess I get the Zelda Fitzgerald Award for Emotional Stability

I love memes, lolz

I beeweeve it IS (I LOVE HIM)

Only one of me!!!

How Many People Have Your Name?

HowManyOfMe.com

There is 1 person with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Funny Quiz

 

Funny Quiz

How Will I Die Quiz

You will die at the age of 80
You will die of a heart attack at a Tom Jones concert
Find out how you will die at Quizopolis.com

This is funny because I have actually been to a Tom Jones concert!