Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Adopt A Wild Critter from NWF
Make a different...adopt an imperiled animal today!
Dear Meggie,
Finding the perfect holiday gift just got easier!
Thanks to suggestions from folks like you, we've added many exciting items to National Wildlife Federation's NEW Adoption Center. Now, there are even more ways to find a memorable gift for everyone on your holiday list.
And, with each symbolic animal adoption, you'll know that you are doing your part to protect wildlife and wild places across America for our children and grandchildren.
Adopt a polar bear! Adopt a tortoise!Adopt a grizzly bear!
Adopt a canada lynx! Adopt a moose! Adopt a wolf!
Adopt Now!
Sincerely,
David Strauss
Vice President, Membership
P.S. Be sure to spread the word about NWF's NEW Adoption Center to your friends and family.
National Wildlife Federation Logo
Your Adoption is symbolic and your donation will be used where it is needed most to help protect America’s imperiled wildlife.
Your Donation must be made by December 17, 2007, for your Adoption Kit to arrive in time for the holidays.
**While supplies last. *Personalized Certificate is available online.
© 2007 National Wildlife Federation. All rights reserved. NWF Privacy Policy
Contact us: info@nwf.org | 1-800-822-9919 | National Wildlife Federation, 11100 Wildlife Center Drive, Reston VA, 20190.
Bring your yard to life! Create a wildlife-friendly yard officially certified through NWF's Wildlife HabitatTM program and help us reach our goal of 100,000 yards by year-end.
Unsubscribe from receiving email, or change your email preferences.
Dear Meggie,
Finding the perfect holiday gift just got easier!
Thanks to suggestions from folks like you, we've added many exciting items to National Wildlife Federation's NEW Adoption Center. Now, there are even more ways to find a memorable gift for everyone on your holiday list.
And, with each symbolic animal adoption, you'll know that you are doing your part to protect wildlife and wild places across America for our children and grandchildren.
Adopt a polar bear! Adopt a tortoise!Adopt a grizzly bear!
Adopt a canada lynx! Adopt a moose! Adopt a wolf!
Adopt Now!
Sincerely,
David Strauss
Vice President, Membership
P.S. Be sure to spread the word about NWF's NEW Adoption Center to your friends and family.
National Wildlife Federation Logo
Your Adoption is symbolic and your donation will be used where it is needed most to help protect America’s imperiled wildlife.
Your Donation must be made by December 17, 2007, for your Adoption Kit to arrive in time for the holidays.
**While supplies last. *Personalized Certificate is available online.
© 2007 National Wildlife Federation. All rights reserved. NWF Privacy Policy
Contact us: info@nwf.org | 1-800-822-9919 | National Wildlife Federation, 11100 Wildlife Center Drive, Reston VA, 20190.
Bring your yard to life! Create a wildlife-friendly yard officially certified through NWF's Wildlife HabitatTM program and help us reach our goal of 100,000 yards by year-end.
Unsubscribe from receiving email, or change your email preferences.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Well, here I am!!!
| Big Five Test Results |
| Extroversion (14%) very low which suggests you are extremely reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and private. Accommodation (72%) high which suggests you are overly kind natured, trusting, and helpful at the expense too often of your own individual development (martyr complex). Orderliness (34%) moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly flexible, random, scattered, and fun seeking at the expense of structure, reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment. Emotional Stability (38%) moderately low which suggests you are worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious. Inquisitiveness (56%) moderately high which suggests you are intellectual, curious, imaginative but possibly not very practical. |
personality tests by similarminds.com
Well, I guess I get the Zelda Fitzgerald Award for Emotional Stability
Only one of me!!!
How Many People Have Your Name?
| HowManyOfMe.com | ||
|
Funny Quiz
Funny Quiz
How Will I Die Quiz
You will die at the age of 80
You will die of a heart attack at a Tom Jones concert
Find out how you will die at Quizopolis.com
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Murphy's Less Known Laws
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
3. Those that live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
4. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
5. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
6. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stu pid e n ough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.
7. The things that come to those who wait will be the scraggly junk left by those who got there first.
8. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
9. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
10. When you go into court, you are putting yourself into the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
2. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
3. Those that live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
4. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
5. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
6. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stu pid e n ough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.
7. The things that come to those who wait will be the scraggly junk left by those who got there first.
8. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
9. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
10. When you go into court, you are putting yourself into the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Cyber Sex
A little boy goes to his father and asks
You got Male!
"Daddy, how was I born?"
The father answers:
"Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!
Your mom and I first got together in a chat
room on Yahoo.
room on Yahoo.
Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mom and we met
at a cyber-cafe.
at a cyber-cafe.
We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother
agreed to a download from my hard drive.
agreed to a download from my hard drive.
As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had
used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later
a little Pop-Up appeared that said:
used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later
a little Pop-Up appeared that said:
You got Male!
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
I knew I liked Popsicles
The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon "quickie" with their 8 year
Old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a
Popsicle, and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities.
He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation:
"There's a car being towed from the parking lot", he shouted.
A few mome nts passed .. "An ambulance just drove by".
A few moments later," Looks like the Anderson's have company", he
Called out.
"Matt's riding a new bike...."
A few moments later, 'Looks like the Sanders are moving".
"Jason is on his skate board...."
A few more moments, "The Coopers are having sex!!"
Startled, his Mother and Dad shot up in bed ! Dad cautiously called
Out, "How do you know they are having sex?"
"Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle too."
Old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a
Popsicle, and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities.
He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation:
"There's a car being towed from the parking lot", he shouted.
A few mome nts passed .. "An ambulance just drove by".
A few moments later," Looks like the Anderson's have company", he
Called out.
"Matt's riding a new bike...."
A few moments later, 'Looks like the Sanders are moving".
"Jason is on his skate board...."
A few more moments, "The Coopers are having sex!!"
Startled, his Mother and Dad shot up in bed ! Dad cautiously called
Out, "How do you know they are having sex?"
"Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle too."
We're All Gonna Die!
Passengers on a small commuter plane are waiting for the flight to leave. They're getting a little impatient, but the airport staff assures them that the pilots will be there soon, and the flight can take off.
The entrance opens, and two men dressed in Pilots' uniforms walk up the aisle. Both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a guide dog, and the other is tapping his way the aisle with a cane.
Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up.
The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming.
The plane moves faster and faster down the runway, and the people sitting in the window seats realize that they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport territory.
As it begins to look as though the plane will plow into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin.
At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon all retreat into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands.
In the cockpit, the copilot turns to the pilot and says, "You know, Bob , one of these days, they're gonna scream too late........
Dad's Such a Wiseass
I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes.
When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked,
"What's the matter old man, never done anything wild
in your life?"
Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so
that I would not choke on his response; knowing he
would have a good one. And in classic style he did not bat an eye
in his response.
"Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock.
I was just wondering if you were my son."
We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue.
My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time.
My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time.
When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked,
"What's the matter old man, never done anything wild
in your life?"
Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so
that I would not choke on his response; knowing he
would have a good one. And in classic style he did not bat an eye
in his response.
"Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock.
I was just wondering if you were my son."
Monday, October 1, 2007
Young King Arthur
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a
neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved
by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his
freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur
would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he
still had no answer; he would be put to death.
The question?...What do women really want? Such a question would
perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it
seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he
accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.
He returned to his kingdom and began! to pol l everyone: the
princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He
spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.
Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would
have the answer.
But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the
kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.
The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk
to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to
agree to her price first.
The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the
Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!
Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only
one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had
never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.
He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a
terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with
Arthur.
He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life
and the preservation of the Round Table.
Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's
question thus:
What a woman really wants, she answered...is to be in charge of her
own life.
Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a
great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared.
And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and
Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.
The honeymoon hour a! pproach ed and Lancelot, steeling himself for a
horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited
him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the
bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened
The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she
appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed
self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.
Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day....or night?
Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman
to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his
castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch
during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy
wondrous intimate moments?
What would YOU do?
What Lancelot chose is below. BUT....make YOUR choice before you
scroll down below. OKAY?
Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.
Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the
time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of
her own life.
Now....what is the moral to this story?
Scroll down
The moral is.....
If you don't let a woman have her own way....
Things are going to get ugly.
neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved
by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his
freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur
would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he
still had no answer; he would be put to death.
The question?...What do women really want? Such a question would
perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it
seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he
accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.
He returned to his kingdom and began! to pol l everyone: the
princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He
spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.
Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would
have the answer.
But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the
kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.
The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk
to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to
agree to her price first.
The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the
Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!
Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only
one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had
never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.
He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a
terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with
Arthur.
He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life
and the preservation of the Round Table.
Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's
question thus:
What a woman really wants, she answered...is to be in charge of her
own life.
Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a
great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared.
And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and
Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.
The honeymoon hour a! pproach ed and Lancelot, steeling himself for a
horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited
him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the
bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened
The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she
appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed
self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.
Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day....or night?
Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman
to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his
castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch
during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy
wondrous intimate moments?
What would YOU do?
What Lancelot chose is below. BUT....make YOUR choice before you
scroll down below. OKAY?
Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.
Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the
time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of
her own life.
Now....what is the moral to this story?
Scroll down
The moral is.....
If you don't let a woman have her own way....
Things are going to get ugly.
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